|Why Shannen Doherty left the show: Exhibit A|
in order to attract a succubus . . .
|A phallic vagina dentata? That's too effed up even for Freud.|
that the distractingly sweaty and disturbingly randy Phoebe has been channeling through her dreams.
|Almost makes you forget about the bad clothes and hair, doesn't it?|
The upshot is that Prue-homme learns that some bitches need to be slapped, a lesson reinforced by "That Old Black Magic," which features a good witch turned bad, who uses a snake to do her bidding. Why does that sound familiar?
The witch, "Tuatha," enjoys shrinking men to the size of mice and, ahem, feeding them to her snake. She also encounters three kids in the forest where she's hiding out who are filming a documentary on the "Blair Witch." Their names? Heather, Michael, and Josh. This baffles me with its ballsiness. The writers counted on their audience getting the reference, but apparently not remembering how the movie ended? Or are they "writing beyond the ending," stipulating that the trio escaped and continued filming their doc, only to get killed by a real witch in San Francisco? That's actually pretty funny. Ah well, on to what I'm really interested in--the love triangle.
"She's a Man, Baby, a Man!"
"That Old Black Magic"
Piper and Dan's relationship is progressing, with an overnight trip to meet the parents, um, I mean "go to a cousin's wedding" in "They're Everywhere." Leo is decidedly NOT into it. We get some fun eye rolling and pointed references to "your friend Dan." BUT . . .
Rather than get all whitelighter up in there, Leo pulls an Edward Cullen cop-out and tells Bella, er, Piper, that she'd be better off with Dan because he could give her a normal life. To that, I quote Sarah Marshall.
Love is love, green-eyed Leo, and as we learn in "P3 H20," through a really touching flashback where we learn how the girls' mom died (and that she was in love with her whitelighter), you might as well be dead if you don't live for it. Get it together and go get your girl.
Waiting for It
Prue to have better taste in men.
|Why Shannen Doherty left the show: Exhibit B|